Get Over Yourself

As Nic said most of accepting the diagnosis of Down syndrome is just getting over yourself.

I've never taken myself too seriously, so perhaps that's why it was quite easy for me to accept.

We all know how it is before we have children - we think we are going to have kids that say, "yes, ma'am" to us, and please and thank you instead of "give me!" We think they will be cute and smart, and ahead of all of their peers in whatever they do. We devour baby books because we know our kids will most certainly be ahead of all those charts.

We know for sure that our kids will go to bed promptly at 7:30, and never, ever through a temper tantrum in a store. We'll sign them up for baby yoga, and Mom and me swimming lessons, and gymastics, and all of the other Moms will be a little jealous at how well our kids perform.

Our little girls will be ballerinas, and our little boys will play Little League Baseball.

We see other children in public, and silently tsk tsk them under our breaths - what the heck are those parents thinking? Don't they know anything?

When school starts, our child will be the teacher's favorite, and will get invited to all of the birthday parties.

Life is smooth sailing, save for an ear ache or a runny nose here or there.

O.k....are we done yet????

Get over it peeps - even "generic" kids as a friend of mine says, are going to surprise the daylights out of us when we spend all night up with a crying babe, or when we can't pick our 18 month old up off the floor at the mall because he can't buy a Thomas The Tank toy.

Having a child with Trisomy 21 sometimes takes some getting over oneself. We have to put aside all of those lists we have made in our heads about the "perfect" child and just get on with it already.

There may be medical problems, some minor and some not so minor. There may be delays, some slight and some not. There will definitely be joy - small daily joys, and shout-from-the-rooftop joy.

Now, I am SO not one of those pre-moms who think I know everything about parenting. I've more become the mom whom my 14 year old groans in despair about when I *gasp* speak to the check-out person in the grocery store, or sometimes plops down beside Paige when she decides she has had enough walking, and wants to just enjoy the scenery.

I've found I quite like scenery too. I don't much care about toys that have age recommendations on them. Our qualifications for a really good toy is one that Paige is curious about, one that brings a smile to her face, or one she lifts to us to explain to her how to make it work.

I don't much care what people think when Paige stops and taps her feet together like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, because I know that when she's wearing her Converse high-tops, she is just making sure the circles with the stars in them on the inside of each shoe still touch when she does that.

We still go to swim class, and Paige's very favorite swim partner is still ME, her Mom. How cool is that...from Mommy and Tot to Mommy and Tween...

I've gotten over myself about parenting a perfect child. Lord knows both of my kids have taught me that.

And, how the heck would I ever be able to parent a perfect child anyway - wouldn't that require a perfect parent???

I Wanted To Learn...

My friend Nic is dedicating her "Get it Down" posts for October to sharing her story of how she came to find out Tarenne would be born with Trisomy 21, and the days that followed that...

I think she's a bit of an over-achiever, because while the rest of us have taken on the challenge of posting once a day, and sometimes finding it difficult to do that, Nic is sometimes posting several times a day, lol. Show-off! :)

In her post titled, "I Wanted To Learn", Nic says two things that really struck me. The first was, "I wanted to learn, but any true knowledge would not come until after Tarenne was born." How true is that! Honestly, how can we possible think that a chromosomal analysis on a piece of paper can do anything more than well, tell us how many chromosomes our baby has.

There is just one way to answer all of the questions that will come to you if you are given the prenatal diagnosis of Trisomy 21. And that way is to continue your pregnancy, and have your baby. You cannot know your baby unless you hold him or her in your arms. You cannot know how they will soar unless you are willing to offer them wings to fly.

You cannot know what you yourself are capable of until you allow the challenge into your life.

Unfortunately, many babies with Trisomy 21 who are prenatally diagnosed are terminated before birth. I've met people who have aborted, and certainly read many stories about people who chose abortion.

Very consistently, these women will extol stories of how their unborn child had "severe" Down syndrome, or horrible physical problems incompatible with life. They will speak with a wisdom they cannot have - and tell people that although some babies with Trisomy 21 do well, the one they aborted certainly would not have.

I've read accounts that say that we, the parents of children with T21, only share the "good stuff" and the people with T21 that we read about are the exception, not the rule for people with T21.

I am highly insulted by that, as I feel like I share a very honest account of Paige's life. I don't sugar coat anything, and she certainly isn't excelling over and above every child ever born with T21.

In fact, I could easily be one of those mothers who comfort themselves with believing I would give birth to a child incompatible with life...because I was told that was the case, and I carried Paige for the last three months of my pregnancy believing that.

But more than believing that, I believed in us - her and I as a team. And I knew we could get through whatever the good Lord handed us. I knew I would be grateful for every single moment with her.

Today, my "incompatible with life" little girl is 1o years old - and is pretty darn full of life. Last night she and her daddy laid on the floor and had a good ol' pillow fight.

As Nic also said in her post, she had to "get over herself." That's exactly what its all about - we have to get over ourselves if we are going to joyfully jump into this journey...

Tomorrow, I will write more about getting over myself...

Things Are Falling Into Place For Us

I have no idea what date on the calendar it is, but we are now on day five of Paige's body cast. Today was really productive for us.

Paige has been sleeping on an air mattress on our living room floor, and I've been sleeping on the couch next to her. We are going to get a bed that will be the same height as our couch, so that I don't have to pick her up from such a low level.

Tomorrow, we will have a wheelchair delivered that will help in transporting Paige. Right now, we are stuck to even move her around, as it is very awkward to pick her, and her cast up. It will recline in a way that Paige can actually sort of sit for a while. Right now, she is flat - either on her back or her tummy.

Last night, we all had Thanksgiving dinner on the living room floor, so Paige could join us. It was great fun!!!

And getting the wheelchair will help me to go to drs appointments with her.

So...we are just waiting on a little tub that will allow me to wash her waist length hair! Yahoo!!!

Dakotah has decorated her cast already - she has a "tattoo" of three little butterflies on her back - haviing a cast does not excuse one of being trendy!!

So five days down, heaven knows how much longer to go~~~

No Better Way to Celebrate Down syndrome...

than with Gifts - This is a most awesome book! I know many of the contributing Moms to this book, and recognize so many of the beautiful little faces. The very first face you see is my buddy, Nash!

Thanks to Rebecca for making this montage!

One Red Paper Clip!

I'm sure some of you have heard of Kyle McDonald who traded one red paper clip for a house. In just one year and 14 trades, he started with a red paper clip, traded it up for a fish pen, traded that up for a drawer knob, traded that up for a coleman stove, and well...you get the idea.

I think Kyle is a bit of a lamer, who readily admits he started this because he really didn't want to actually hold a job, but his idea took off, and he has had a media frenzy surrounding him. He has also written a book about his experience.

It is a funny story about how imaginative people can be, and how life evolves.

I've thought about Kyle's story, and I think I've traded one red paper clip too.

1) I started with a ultrasound showing no kidneys or stomach in my baby
2) I traded for an amnio
3) I traded the amnio for the knowledge that my baby would have Trisomy 21
4) I traded the knowledge of Trisomy 21 for the arrival of a screaming baby
5) I traded a screaming baby for many corrective surgeries to ensure her future
6) I traded surgeries for Physio, Occupational, and Speech Therapy
7) I traded Therapies for new skills learned like Sign Language and walking
8) I traded Sign Language and walking for even more independence
9) I traded that independence for an admission to school
10) I traded that admission to school for a program specially designed to help Paige reach her fullest potential.
11) I traded that program for a happy, thriving little girl who learned to match her colors and recognize letters and numbers
12) I traded this happy thriving little girl for a girl who learned to swim and ride horses
13) I traded that athletic girl for a cuddly, affectionate almost young-lady whom I adore.
14) I refused further trades.

There...beat that Kyle.

Twenty One Food and Beverages I'm Grateful For

If any of you have ever spent any time alone in the hospital with your children, you will completely understand this light-hearted post! As Paige was not able to eat or drink anything at all yesterday, I also did not, as I didn't want to leave her, and didn't want to eat or drink in front of her.

And today I was busy caring for her, so food and drink were evasive as well.

Needless to say, I was pretty hungry and thirsty after nearly 48 hrs!!!

So here was what I thought of as a distraction from our medical dramas on the way home.

Twenty-one Food and Beverages I'm Grateful For:

1) Hot Coffee
2) Diet Pepsi
3) Grey Goose Cosmos
4) White Wine
5) Zinfandel
6) Fresh strawberries dipped in cream cheese & strawberry yogurt dip
7) Hot buttered toast
8) Triple Chocolate Utopia from DQ
9) New York Super Fudge Chunks of Chocolate by Ben & Jerry
10) Cheese fondue
11) Warm Apple Crisp
12) Thanksgiving Turkey & stuffing
13) Pumpkin Mousse
14) Cashews
15) Junior Mints
16) Frozen Strawberry Daquiris
17) Chicken marinated in Italian dressing, and cooked in strips
18) Fresh Fruit Salad
19) Lasagna
20) Butternut squash
21) Lucky Charms

O.k....so maybe I wasn't all that hungry - I had to reach for some of these!!!!

Two Posts Today!

O.k., for all of you who are "getting it down" for October, I think I deserve a pass for missing yesterday.

Paige and I spent the entire day in an itty bitty examining room, waiting for an OR to open up so she could have her hip put back into place. Because we were on-call for a cancellation, she didn't eat or drink for nearly 24 hours until we were finally taken into surgery at 5:30.

Her hip got much worse yesterday - the surgeon said her femur had slipped completely out of her hip socket and slipped nearly 3" up behind it. It was very obvious just from looking at it how bad it was.

He had a hard time putting it back into place, and once he did, he casted it, and it popped back out. So he had to take the cast off, put it back again, and re-cast it. She was in a lot of pain when she came out of surgery.

She has a spica cast, from just under her armpits, wrapping all around her body, and down to her knees, with just a small opening for her to use the bathroom. She is flat out on her back - she can't bend anything.

He was able to look at her hips with a tiny camera, and said that her muscles were just shredded on that hip - that it looked like strands of spaghetti. She will be casted for 2 to 3 weeks to allow these muscles to rest and recouperate.

After that, we will have to make decisions about more involved surgery to reconstruct her hips. He still is saying he is at a loss of how to fix her, only now, fixing her is our only option.

As you can imagine, getting her into the van to bring home was quite the feat. She had to sit on the edge of the seat, with the back of her neck resting against the seat. After she had sat there for a while, she was so uncomfortable that I actually stopped the van halfway home, and just laid her down flat in the back seat.

There's lots to figure out - and being a holiday weekend here, I won't get much of it settled this weekend. I need to find some way of propping her even just a little to feed her, as I can't feed her flat on her back because of her choking issues.

I can't even imagine how I will bathe her, and wash her hair. I need some sort of stroller to transport her, as I have nothing to take her to the van and to the hospital for appointments.

I've had to take a leave of absence from work, because I have to stay with her for the next 2 or 3 weeks...so, we'll take advantage of that time for just the two of us!

So, forgive me if I missed posting on Friday :)

What A Long Day! Get It Down Day 4

Paige and I spent the whole day at CHEO today. And I mean the whole day. We left here at 8, arrived at the hospital around 9:45 and didn't see her orthopedic doctor until 2:30. Its always like that in that clinic. Too many kids with too many broken bones!

The news for Paige is not wonderful. Not only is her knee dislocated, her hip is as well. The dr. tried twice to put it back in, but it is just too painful for her. She has an insane level of pain tolerance, and she was obviously hurting. She had a bad night last night too. She wasn't able to settle in and sleep very well. No position was comfortable for her.

We weren't able to get very good x-rays because she couldn't extend her leg out at all.

So, tomorrow, we go back, where they will admit her, sedate her, and try to put everything back where it belongs. I imagine she may end up casted, as he said it needed to be stabilized and rested for a while afterward.

He is hopeful he can get some good x-rays while she is asleep and possibly an MRI. He said that he wouldn't have time to do any "major" surgery tomorrow, but he wouldn't be surprised if this latest incident has brought us to the point where it will be sooner or later.

I hope we haven't pushed the envelope too far - I want her to walk, but more than that, I want her pain free.

She's so good to take to the hospital, so easy to entertain, and so patient to wait. Such a little love.

We spent lots of time people watching. Five hours in a waiting room that had probably 100 people in it will do that to you!

I always look at people and think, "I wonder what his story is - I wonder what she is thinking about." Everybody has a story, and there are probably a good mix of wonderfully uplifting stories and horrible stories all sitting in the same room.

Paige had a little v-tech toy with her that spells out words, sings little song, etc. It's got lots of pages on it, and lots to keep her busy. About 10 feet from us was this tall, lanky 15-ish looking boy, who had pants 8 sizes too big, a hoodie with the hood pulled up, and ear buds cranking music out. Dakotah refers to kid's who dress like this as "gangsta"

He had a casted arm - probably a skateboarding accident or something like that. He was impatient and had a doting mother who tried to make conversation with him every few minutes. He would roll his eyes, take his ear buds out, grunt at her, and then go back to whatever gameboy type thing it was that he was playing.

After a while, his batteries died in his ipod. Well...he slumped even more, sighed, tapped, etc. And he kept giving Paige really dirty looks. He was staring at her toy as if to tell her to stop playing with it.

His mother said to him, "honey, do you want to move to the other side of the room?"

What she should have said to him was, "grow up - everyone here is tired of waiting - deal with it." And then she should have remarked how patient Paige was being, how well behaved she was acting.

He could have learned a lesson from her. All this from a child who is going on no sleep, and a very painful problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At one point, a woman probably in her late 40's came over to see her. I guess I've come to recognize the people who are happy to meet Paige. She started talking to her, asking Paige to show her the toy, etc. We chatted for a bit, and she told me she had two kids with Down syndrome, both almost 11. I was like, "Oh, wow, how neat! Are they twins?"

No...they are both adopted!! A boy and a girl, born just one day apart from one another. How cool is that??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like I said, I have started to be able to recognize people who "get it" and those who don't. We also met a don't today. She stared at us in a "what's wrong with that kid" kind of way. Eventually she started to talk to me.

She said, "Is she yours?" I didn't even really understand what she meant. When it clicked, I said, "Yes, she is my daughter." "Oh," she says, "I just wondered because sometimes you see people who take them out just to get them out for the day."

O.k. First of all, Paige goes out all the time, and goes wherever we go. And, she goes to school every day. And last of all, she is NOT a "them."

I take a deep breath, and say with lots of cheer in my voice, "Oh, Paige and I go all kinds of places together when she's not in school."

"She goes to school?" *sigh* yes, she goes to school.

Then she launches into this story that goes something like this, "My mother had this friend who had a daughter that never grew. The doctors told her mother she would die when she was born. Back then, they didn't do anything for them like they do now. But, she is the same age as me, and I'm 42, and she's still alive."

Not understanding how this story had anything to do with me, I just kind of said, "hmmm...wow."

But that didn't deter her. She persevered. She actually said to me, "Do you have any other kids?" I said, "Yes, Paige has an older sister." Then she says: "IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH HER TOO?"

Excuse me, what??!?!

I said, "No, both of my children are pretty healthy." This time with a little irritation in my voice. And she continued! She said, "Its funny how it happens, you just never know, one kid can be fine and the other one can be like this." (pointing to Paige.)

Oh boy.

I said to her, "Paige can hear, I'd prefer it if you spoke to her instead of about her."

Finally, finally, she pulled back. I guess she figured a mom who has to deal with such problems as I do can be a little touchy.

She's right. I always get touchy around people who chose to be ignorant.

Dance!!

Today, in my next entry for "Get It Down," I'm going to celebrate the way Paige dances.

Her favorite dance is to set her music going, and then tip her head backward, with a big smile on her face and spin. Its the most fun right after her bath when her hair is still damp, and flowing freely down past her butt when she spins.

But, she's not too picky. She likes to dance just about anywhere. She's happy like that. Sometimes when she has no music, she'll hum a little tune. And sometimes she'll come up to me, wrap her around around my neck and just sway, understanding that language of love between mother and child than no one else can.

Paige has had a very difficult time with her legs this week. She has only been to school one day...the only day out of the last five that she could put any weight on her legs at all. Her knee is obviously dislocated, and she is in pain. We have an appointment with an orthopedic specialist in the morning.

Still, she is happy, sweet and affectionate.

So, today when you are celebrating someone or something about Down syndrome, do a little dance for Paige.

Unexpected Joys of Down syndrome

Today's idea for "31 in 21" comes from Jennifer at Pinwheels. Jennifer posts about the Unexpected joys of Down syndrome.

Its hard for me to narrow down the joys that having a child with Down syndrome has brought to me. To be honest, my entire world is more joyful because of Paige. And I think that extra 21st has made it more poignant, deeper, and sometimes more intense.

I have met incredible people as I have walked this path with my amazing little girl. I have learned life lessons that no one could have taught me in any other way. I have seen her sister blossom into a stunning young woman, full of great compassion.

All of these things have been unexpected - and joyful.

But, if I could pass one unexpected joy onto a new family just beginning this journey, I think I would pass on this...

When you receive a diagnosis of Trisomy 21, whether prenatally or shortly after birth, you learn that your child will take longer to achieve certain milestones. Many people say it is a mourning process that takes place as you realize your child may be late to walk or talk, or read or write, or gain independence.

You are immediately launched into a world of predictions when the reality is, there are no predictors for this new baby, any more than there are for any other babies.

So, you begin. You read and research and talk to other people. You learn the new language. You sign up for therapies and intervention.

And you start to realize that it will be o.k. Its o.k. to take it a bit slower and to meander through the milestones instead of racing through them.

That has been one of the best unexpected joys for me. Dakotah raced through milestones so fast that I missed many of them. She potty trained herself at 18 months. We have a video of her first birthday where she was speaking a full sentence "Oh, wow - I like it!"

And she hasn't slowed down since. She was reading before she went to school. And before I could blink, she is 6" taller than me, has a much better figure than I do, and is getting straight A's in subjects that I have not even thought about in nearly 30 years.

It has been so joyous to see Paige move through those milestones a bit slower. She smiled very early, earlier than Dakotah did. But, she took her time learning to walk. She lives in the moment every day. She is never in a hurry, and never hesitates to stop and look when something catches her eye.

I can clearly and vividly remember great milestones of hers - the first time she fed herself, those first steps, even with the aide of a walker, the first time she played itsy bitsy spider, the very moment she realized that her hands could tell me what she wanted, the first time she toddled down the hall to my bed, and crawled in beside me all by herself...

So many firsts, so bright and clear in my mind...and so many more to come.

Unexpectedly Joyful - this stroll we are taking through life.

31 for 21!

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month! In celebration, I've accepted the Challenge of blogging every day for all 31 days of October. Click on the above link for more details.

If you're a blogger, consider this celebration with me! You can blog about anything - but my special request is that at least one post a week be about something uplifting - the celebration of life, no matter how many chromosomes you have!

I'm also going to add a twist to my own personal challenge, and try to send something with Paige to school every day that reminds her teachers to celebrate this sweet kid of mine - a story about someone with Down syndrome, a little known fact, etc.

If you have someone special in your life with Down syndrome (and I know you do, because you are reading this blog!), take the time to talk about what you've learned, how your life has been touched by Down syndrome, or just stop and offer up a hug to Paige the next time you see her.

Won't you join me in a blogging blitz? And won't someone, PLEASE tell me how I can add this button to the side of my blog and have it clickable??? Geez...

My Sweet Daisy

If Paige were a flower, I'm sure she'd look just like this. A daisy with pizazz. Strong and beautiful, reaching for the sunshine, weathering a little rain along the way. Breathtaking in her perfection, yet vulnerable to the elements.

This weekend, Paige dislocated her knee. At first, I thought she had popped her hip out of place. That happens several times a day, but once in a while, it doesn't go back in on its own, and we need to massage and manipulate it back for her.

After spending 6 hours in the waiting room at the ER (grrr), I began to figure out that it was actually her knee. Badly arthritic, we suspected she was having a flare up. But it happened too suddenly, and too completely.

She wasn't able to walk - at all.

I thought of Dave, who often talks about true accessibility on his blog. Our hospital has a brand new wing, supposedly the most modern it can be. Yet, when I arrived, I parked in the handicapped spot (yes, with a placard), and took Paige's stroller out - a stroller that clearly says "positioning wheelchair" on it. I had to lift her out of the van by myself - no small feat for me, as she is long and gangly and I'm short!

Then...in order to actually get to the emergency room entrance, we were faced with a dilemma - there was a big sidewalk ahead of us! I was able to tip the chair back, lift her onto the sidewalk, and then tip it again to take her over the other side.

But, what would Dave have done? He could not have wheeled over it - he would have had to take a very scenic route on the way in. Not a big deal this weekend, as its a beautiful fall weekend. But a MAJOR deal in two months, when there could have been a foot of snow here in Ontario.

And the "handicapped" bathroom at the hospital? Probably enough room for a wheelchair to wheel in. But certainly not enough room for a wheelchair, its rider, and a helper to all be in the room at the same time. Probably perfectly fine for someone who can stand up, and pull their pants down, and maneuver to the toilet. But what about people who's legs don't work at all? There was no place for me to lay Paige down to get her pants down - no place to support her while I tried to pull them down so she could go. How does one take their pants down without standing up???

I spent the better part of 24 hours in and out of the hospital. The "triage" room had three small examination beds - room for a patient to lie down, but no room to wheel a chair in. Each time I went in one with Paige, I had to back her in, and then leave the room (via a curtain) and come back into it.

How frustrating.

~~~~~~~~~

I'm out of practice with Paige. She's had a very healthy medical run in the last year or so. While her loose joints and her popping hips have lured in the background as something we will need to address, we live a pretty carefree life. We're not big on dwelling on stuff.

But, I was reminded of her frailty this weekend. Of how delicate she really is. And I've been melancholy and sentimental all weekend for it. I love this child so much. I would die for her in an instant. My soul is so deeply tied to her, and her sister, that I'm not really sure where I end and they begin.

We dealt with Paige's mortality before we were blessed with her life. We have nearly lost her a few times. And through it all, I've had to think about that possibility. To ponder the concept that her time with us could be limited.

She has given me so much joy, and I have always, always believed that I would be able to take that joy and share it with the world, no matter what. That, if she were ever taken from me, I would survive knowing that I had her message to carry on.

I've thought about those things this weekend for the first time in a very long time.

We're staying home together today. Just Paige and Mom. And we're going to hug. A lot. We're not going to think about anything other than sheer adoration for one another.

Because when it comes down to it, all of the "stuff" that makes up our collective lives is pretty unimportant.

Everybody needs to be spoiled once in a while.

Paige is due for a day of it.

Check out our Etsy Store

The temptation to do "Betsy's Etsys" was great, but my sister and I are doing this together, so we played on our maiden name. We've got very little listed, but we've got lots made and ready to go on!

Absolute Love

For anyone who ever thinks, even for a moment, that no one can love your child as much as you do, click here. I think God's most amazing gifts are born on the 21st chromosome.

Yep, Its My Birthday!

Today I am One!!! We celebrated my birthday with my girlfriend, Millie, at the baseball fields yesterday. We ran and ran and ran! I got a really fun pull-toy, some treats, and new doggie toothpaste - yummmm!

Aren't I adorable?!?

What a Busy Week I've Had!

I really believe that we have to take life in bits and pieces. I have a very hyper personality, and its very hard for me not to make lists - lists of things to do, lists of things I don't want to do, list of things I don't want to forget, etc.

Its very overwhelming - I know we lead a much busier and crazy life than my parents did when they were raising kids.

I get very easily frustrated by the meaningless stuff that takes up so much of my life...the mundane chores that come with motherhood, and the things that, no matter how many times you do them, they still come back at you - laundry, cleaning, etc.

Today, I did something I rarely ever do. I handed a project that I had planned to do for a very, very special little girl back to her Mom, telling her I was so sorry, I had just bitten off more than I could chew. It was so precious to me that I couldn't do a "good enough" job at it - it had to be precise and perfect, and I just could not find the time to do it.

I feel beyond horrible about it.

My sister and I have opened a store at Etsy.com called "Bean Stocks." Our maiden name is Bean, and we thought the play on the word Stalks (for card stock, etc) was cute. We haven't gotten it set up yet, but we are both very creative (my sister has been instrumental in opening a very successful art gallery, and has won many awards for her New England nature photography). It will have lots of homemade cards on it, and some other crafts as well.

I'm tossing around another idea about teaching some classes as well, that I will post about another time.

This week, Paige had school pictures taken. We know the photographer personally, and he is so sweet. He took a ton of pictures of Paige, all with smiles and laughs, but the vast majority of them had her hands in the picture as well. He was so bummed that he told Paige's aide he was coming back the next day to try again. So, more than 50 pictures later, I'm told I will LOVE the one he got when it comes back. We'll see!!

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I adore Paige's hands, and would actually prefer they be in the photograph - they are very precise to me, and it wouldn't be Paige without them there!

I totally sympathize with him - I've spent many hours in Sears, breaking a full sweat as I tried to get two kids to look at the camera at the same time, to smile, to sit up straight, to put your dress down, etc.

Two weeks ago, Wayne brought me home a laptop of my very own, and said, "There, now get that book written." I've spent many hours doing just that! I'm well on my way, and am very surprised at the emotional toll its taking on me to relive some of the more difficult moments of my life over again.

I suspect it will be one of those books that start of being about one thing and end up being about quite another.

And today, we had a birthday party for Kirby!!! Check back in the morning for pictures and a complete story!

My sister, my friend

As much as I hate the idea of moving Laura and Pat any further down on my blog, the writer in me is just too much to squelch. To say that Laura made my week is an understatement!

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Dakotah came bounding through the door after school yesterday, already talking before she even got in the house, as she is everyday.

Someone on her bus had a copy of the 2007 Guinness Book of World Records. She blurts out, "The oldest person to ever live with Down syndrome was 64!!!" She is nearly in tears - saying that's too young to die, that she doesn't want Paige to die that early, etc.

I know that this statistic is wrong, as there is a gentleman at our local Community Living group who is in his mid-70's with Down syndrome. He has been quite healthy until just the last month or two.

I try to explain to her that each decade, the average life span for a person with T21 gets greater...in the 50's the average age was just 9 or 10 years old...ten years later, it was 20-30, when Paige was born, I was told 40-50. Now, I think that it is expected that generally people with T21 who have good health care are reaching about the same life span as everyone else.

Its strange how this would have caught her so off guard. Just the thought of Paige's mortality in 50 years takes her breath away.

It reminds me of an ER episode where an old lady is dying and her daughter with T21 is also very ill. The old woman does not want to take aggressive measures to save her daughter's life, as there was no one to care for her after she had died.

I remember attending a conference once where there was much conversation about care for a person with T21 as his or her parents aged. One gentleman that was sitting beside me told me this story that has always stuck with me.

He told me that as he was growing up, his parents were always very, very conscious of making sure he didn't feel burdened by having a brother with T21. They never expected anything extra from him, and made arrangements for his brother's care after their death.

He had gone on to marry and have two kids of his own. His parents had died perhaps 7 or 8 years prior to this conference.

After their deaths, he not only took his brother into his home, he brought two of his brother's friends with T21 to live with him as well.

He said, "You know, my parents always worried about my brother being a burden to me. What they never thought about is that I WANT him with me - I want to have breakfast with him every morning, and drive him into work, and play ball with him, and talk about hockey with him."

He had created a wonderful family that included a wife, two very young daughters, and three grown men with T21. And he wouldn't have had it any other way.

In our family, we make no apologies for Paige having T21. Nor do we apologize for any health issues she has had. I have never felt guilty when one of my children needed more attention than the other, as I want them both to know that I love them dearly, and our family will always do whatever we can to meet the needs of one another.

I am amazed at the love my children have for each other. Both of them are very affectionate toward the other, both of them adore one another. Paige is as in tune with Dakotah's needs as Dakotah is with Paige's.

Last night, they had a blast in the bathroom because Paige kept turning the light off on Dakotah, and Dakotah would pretend to grumble about it, which would send Paige into a fit of the giggles.

Just two sisters, no chromosome scoreboard needed.

That's what family is all about.

Laura Q - I love you!!

For those of you born under a ROCK, this is Pat Monahan of Train. He just released his first solo album.

As you can see Pat is GORGEOUS. Although I had a little fun earlier today talking about what good friends they are, and how Laura has performed on stage with Pat, the real truth is, she's just a really big fan who was lucky enough to be pulled up on stage during one of his performances.

Thanks to her quick thinking, she was able to snap a few pictures on her camera phone, and we have all had lots of fun ooohing and awwwing and being totally jealous of her.

The best thing of all about Laura meeting Pat today is this:



Wait for it....







Wait....






Almost here......






Worth the scroll....















*FAINTS AND DIES A HAPPY DEATH*

Victory is Mine!

Betsy - 1

Mouse - 0

It was kind of a hollow victory - I'm not much of a killer.

Sorry, mouse...it was either you or me.

Diary of a Wannabe Mouse Killer

Day 1

You're there. I tried to ignore you, but you have left telltale signs that tell me you are real. Tiny little black pieces of rice in my cupboard above my stove. I've never had a mouse before.

You have chewed a tiny hole less than the size of a dime in the gyprock, searching for food. But you chose the wrong shelf....you can't go up or down from here, and there is nothing to eat. Still, you chew on the edge of a plastic container and nibble the paper label off the bottle of garlic powder.

I'll play. I'm not a cruel person. I tape the hole up with duct tape - the all purpose fixer upper. Sorry buddy, game over, you can't get back ito my house.

Day 8

You are back. You have chewed through my indestructible duct tape, and have come out to play again.

Ha - now we get serious, buddy.

With nothing to actually catch you with, I decide to try a flat glue strip that we bought to catch flies in our back room with. Baiting it with a piece of strong cheese, I put the strip in the cupboard and wait. I'll get you, my pretty.

Day 9

Nervously, I open the cabinet, suspecting that you have arrived for a nibble of my cheese, and found yourself stuck to my fly strip, perhaps still alive, but struggling.

What I find is the cheese has been eaten, there is gray fur on my fly strip but you, you are nowhere to be found.

Oooohhhh...game on, babydoll. Today, you go back to your other little mousey friends, bald on one side of your body. They'll snicker at you - and you'll snicker back, having traded a bit of your fur for a nice piece of fresh cheese.

Day 10

Today is the day. I've now purchased an actual glue trap for you. I hope you enjoyed your feast last night - as it was your Last Supper.

This time, I push everything aside and place the glue trap on the middle of the shelf like the Holy Grail. C'mere little one...

Day 11

You are taunting me. Somehow, you have eaten the cheese again, gotten stuck in the glue trap, left a whole pile of mice poop in the glue, yet escaped.

Did your little incident with the fly sticky make you infallable? Were you able to escape by rubbing the hairless portion of your body through the glue until you wiggle away?

Oh, and by the way - chewing the shelf paper - nice touch. I would have been really impressed if you had chewed the word "haha" in it.

Day 12

Or, should I say, the day the music died. Today is IT. I tried to play nice. I tried to get rid of you without making you look like a fool to your community. Surely, no self-respecting mouse in today's world will fall for the good old-fashioned mouse trap??

Or will you? Maybe you've developed a false sense of security as you have arrived for your Thanksgiving feast for the last three nights. Perhaps you have heard Dakotah plead for the life of the "cute little mouse who didn't hurt anyone." Perhaps you believe my next move is something humane - like a no-kill trap.

Wrong. Snap. Snap that you think you have me figured out. And bigger, literally snap to you -as in snap, you're dead.

Now, I have cleared the entire shelf off. Nothing remains except the trap. Set with your favorite meal of late - a piece of cheese. All you have to do is go for it...and then...you are mine, faster than you can react, you are caught.

Day 13

You little son of a bitch. How did you set that trap off, eat the cheese, and then leave, all in one piece?

Wayne is now convinced you are something more sinister. A squirrel perhaps. A squirrel that can squeeze himself through a hole smaller than a dime. Yeah, maybe even an elephant, or a donkey, or some other gray animal.

Me, I'm convinced you are watching me. Waiting. Laughing. Probably video-taping me as I plot against you.

Its not over yet. Not by a long shot.

Life Lessons

By now, most of you who keep up on the latest "Down syndrome news" have heard the story of the Italian woman who found out that one of the twins she was carrying had Down syndrome. Desperate to terminate the "defective" baby and keep the one that was right, she begged her doctor to kill the unborn child with T21, and to keep the unborn "perfect" child in tact.

Had this procedure gone off without a hitch, we would have never heard the story. She would have gone on to give birth to her perfect child - remembering the child with T21 only as an unfortunately incident that happened to her.

But...the rest of the story unfolded.

After the abortion, the doctors notified her that, tragically, they had aborted the child without Down syndrome.

Tragically, a chromosomally normal child had been killed.

Tragically, a wanted child was dead.

Tragically, the mother must now undergo the procedure again in order to abort the unwanted child.

And now we read that she is considering lawsuits against the doctors who performed this procedure - having robbed her of her perfect baby.

How absurd that the tragedy is not that two unborn babies have now been killed. Two babies were ripped from their mother's uterus, at her own hands...by her own desire to give birth only to a child she deemed perfect.

Dave Hingsburger writes about the perfect tomato on his blog.

I try very hard in my life to learn lessons from stories such as this. I try to see how God has worked in these matters.

Obviously, it is difficult to see God's hand in the workings of the separate abortions of two equally important, and equally perfect unborn children.

But...He has given us free will. And this woman, by her own hand, by her own free will, chose to initiate these abortions - both of them.

Our Lord does not make mistakes, and perhaps He called the first child to Him as a wake up call to that mother to listen - to trust in Him - to find humility and compassion and hope in the birth of a child with Down syndrome.

Perhaps His intention was for her to stop fearing and start believing - to just put it in His hands and trust Him.

They say that He whispers to us, and if we are busy screaming, we cannot possibly hear Him. Maybe He gave her many, many opportunities to listen - before the first abortion, before the second abortion...yet, she continued to scream and drown Him out.

And now...before another child is conceived, she needs to listen.

And the world needs to listen - to hear this story, and realize that the tragedy lies in anyone's ability to perceive perfection from a karyotype. The tragedy is that we are so full of ourselves that we believe we can control our perfect world by eliminating people who are not deemed worthy to even live.

Hitler did it, and we were appalled. We should be no less appalled every time it is done as the result of a chromosomal analysis.

Ironically, two babies died. And the one who brought the biggest message to the world was the "wrong" one.

Isn't he beautiful?!?!?!?

This is my nephew Craig's son, Cameron - isn't he just adorable???

Wordless Wednesday

Its the first day of school!!

It's back to school today!

Both of the girls were very happy to be starting school this morning, and everyone was up and moving without complaint. Its a warm sunny day, and they both looked so cute going off to school...one in her long braids, and one in hair that took two hours to straighten last night.

Paige is starting 4th grade today - and she was very happy when talk of school started last night. She has missed her friends a lot, and we have actually had to hide the yearbook from last year, as she keeps finding pictures of her friend, Brooke, in it, and then crying because she misses her.

This morning she was very excited, and seemed to have that expression of "FINALLY!! I thought you people forgot to send me to school for all of these days!!"

She has been a bit shy lately in public, so it will take her a while to warm up, but by this afternoon, she will be happily working back into her routine again.

And because I am a really geeky mom, I was so excited last week to buy Paige her first little bras - just the ones that look like half t-shirts, but I was like, "ooooooh, look Dakotah, these are sooooooo cute!!!" I got one that is pink striped, and one that is green striped (like Steve's shirt!).

Dakotah was less than enchanted by them, as she has (literally) grown into grown-up bras quite quickly. Paige is just, just starting tiny little buds of boobies, and I am finding the idea of "growing her big girl boobies" so bittersweet - she is growing up, that girl! She isn't wearing the bras just yet, but they are hanging on her bedroom door - probably until well past the New Year before they are truly needed.

And Dakotah - well, today is her first day of high school. She is taking it all in stride, and is quite excited for it. Luckily, she has finally seemed to shake mono - she was three full months with it, and I don't wish that experience on any teenager.

I was very sentimental yesterday, and said to her, "you are ready to start a new adventure that you cannot even begin to imagine just yet." In four years, she will grow and change so, so much, from a young teen to an almost-adult, ready to go out in the world. It will go by so quickly.

And during that time, she will be faced with so many choices to make - she will be confronted with all kinds of issues, partying, boyfriends, having her heart broken, driving, etc.

I hope we have given her a good base to make the right choices, and that she can still find solace in this ol' mom of hers when the world gets too big for her.

She had her friend, Ryan, over yesterday to "hang out" (teen slang for "someone to do nothing with"). Ryan played baseball with us this summer, and we are very good friends with his family. He just happens to have a little sister with T21 too, and she is THE cutest little girl in the whole world. (o.k., well maybe tied for first place with a few others!)

Ryan is such a sweet kid - polite, friendly, helpful - just an all around nice boy. He is going to the same high school as Dakotah this year - the first time they have been in school together.

When I was taking him home, I was saying the same thing to him that I had said to Dakotah - and I told them both to remember the conversation in 4 years at their graduation.

They both kind of rolled their eyes at each other, and said, "we aren't going to change that much."

We'll see. It'll be wonderful to watch...

"Normal...

is a setting on your dryer."

And a word I don't usually hear - especially when visiting CHEO with Paige. But, this week, we heard it! Paige's last surgery for skin grafts in her ears has worked, and her hearing test was....NORMAL. Pretty cool.

We were very happy to learn that her hearing is back on track, after nearly 6 years of iffy results, and not so good news about it.

Although not a huge fan of the world normal, in this case, I will take it!

But, please, let the record show, that my little girl is exceptional in all other areas...only her hearing is normal. Her smile...off the charts. Her blue eyes...breathtaking. Her laughter...it could end wars. The way she plops on my head, and says "momma" in the morning when I am still sound asleep....priceless. The number of lives she has touched...unimaginable. The love she inspires...immeasurable.

Dear Employers,

I just wanted to let you know that you got it all wrong. Instead of working 49 weeks a year and getting three off, I think you would have much happier staff if you changed your policy to 49 weeks of vacation and three weeks of work.

Production would go up. Employees would come in with a smile on their face. They'd probably never call in sick - they'd never have to leave early for a doctor's appointment. Most likely, they wouldn't demand a raise (as long as you continued to pay them the same rate as you did for the archaic 49 work/3 vacation plan).

Think about it. It might just work.

******************************************

Wayne and I rented a cottage last week, and took the girls away for a few days. It was glorious, and something we should do much more often. We try to be good parents, and we keep our kids busy and active, but the one thing we sorely lack is our ability to just s-t-o-p and relax more often.

Admittedly, that should say that *I* am not good at relaxing. Wayne manages. I'm a multi-tasker by nature - as is evident by the 7 windows that are open on my computer at this moment. Oops...make that 8 - the fax just rang.

Don't worry, though, I'm not neglecting my children - I'm at work - I'm just neglecting my job at the moment :)

It was so nice to have a few days where we slept until we woke up, went to bed when we were tired, went to the beach when the sun shone, and played board games when it didn't. It was so wonderful to sit by a fire at night, and be mesmerized by it. To just...sit and enjoy our family. To be anonymous in a sense - just a family on vacation.

I think parents now are victims of doing, doing, doing all the time. Our family isn't nearly as overbooked as some I know - with many involved in multiple activities for multiple children all at the same time.

We've often joked this summer with friends of ours if it didn't make the big calendar that keeps our lives organized, then it most likely got forgotten.

But, after our vacation, I think we need to take a big black permanent marker and circle a week or two of summer, and not let anyone write in those squares.

There's something to be said for doing nothing. Its the one thing I don't do nearly enough.

From my friend, Camille...

"I am autistic, and you are my sunshine."

That's the comment my friend, Camille, left on my last post about Paige living so joyously. Isn't that the nicest comment? I can see Paige saying that to the world - she loves people so.

And Camille!! Well...let me tell you - when Camille comes to visit or goes to Paige's school, or meets us for swimming, Paige takes about 3 seconds to make her way over to her for a GIANT hug that usually results in Camille sitting right down on the floor and soaking in the Paige-love for a few minutes.

Paige will hug and squeeze her, and say "awwwwww" to her for as long as Camille will hug and squeeze back, which is usually quite a while!

I'm so lucky to have such wonderful friends - friends that enjoy Paige's sunshine as much as she does.

Sweet Joy

Paige is sitting at the table next to me as I'm typing this. She is eating chocolate pudding - a necessary snack of childhood. She has her legs crossed - something that just cracks me right up - I don't know where she has picked this habit up, but she is doing it all the time lately - as soon as she sits down she crosses her legs like a right proper lady.

She's got a bit of a chocolate mustache, only for some reason, Paige always makes upside down mustaches - that is, its her bottom lip that gets the 'stache, not her top one. I guess its probably due to the underbite she has.

And, intermittently, she is holding our her spoon and looking at it in the sunbeam that is coming through the window. She loves sunbeams, and moves throughout the house during the day to play in them with her toys.

Her therapists would tell you that it is because she is autistic that she plays in the sun like that - that its one of those quirky behaviors of kids with autism.

But, maybe she just likes the sunshine - maybe she likes the way it warms her skin when she sits in it, or the way she can make shadows in it, and watch her finger puppets dance on her legs.

When her pudding is done, she will come to me and ask to have her hands washed - she doesn't much like dirty hands. Neither do I.

And off she'll go to find her duck toy, the one that said 6+ months on the box when we bought it for her for her 6th or 7th birthday. She'll take Mr. Duck and spin around with him for a few minutes, as she listens to the music he always plays for her.

If I stay here much longer, she'll come and ask to play on the computer. She loves starfall.com and can whiz through much of the website. Funny, she can't tell me where her nose is, but she can put together a puzzle or zip through a maze like nobody's business.

After a bit, we'll wander out to the deck, paper and pencil crayons in hand, where we'll draw funny circles, and practice writing her name. And I'll smile as she makes the letter "i" three inches longer than the rest of her letters, and circles the top part of the letter "g" two or three times before she gives it a tail.

And those silly legs of hers - long and thin "first grade legs" we call them in our house - well, maybe she'll cross them again like a lady. And maybe she'll just swing them as she draws - a happy, carefree sign of childhood.

Perhaps she'll fold them up under her "Indian style" or put one leg on each arm of the big chair she is sitting in, reminding the world that she has Down syndrome, and is incredibly, crazily flexible.

For me, it'll just remind me that she is my daughter - precious and perfect in every way.

Said by Dakotah...

As Paige was hugging her this morning, I said, "awww...DeeDee is home...your big sister, your hero!"

To which Dakotah answered to her: "Oh Paige, how can I be your hero when you are mine?"

Funny Baseball Story

As most of you know, Wayne and I run Little League Baseball in our area. We have 14 teams, ranging in age from 4 to 16.

We have two competitive teams that travel - one is a group of 9 & 10 year olds that are really pretty good. But, this is their first year, and they are working on basic skills of the game.

They were in the district playoffs a few weeks ago, and did really well. They didn't win, but they held their own against the kids who eventually went on to win provincials.

Anyway, during the game, one of our guys noticed the coach from the other team giving signals to the batter - a practice we haven't conquered quite yet.

At the next game, this little guy says, "Oh, yeah, and their coach was making all these signs..."
As he is saying it, he is blessing himself with the sign of the cross. Then he goes, "like we don't know what that means, we go to church too!!!"

ROFL!!

I miss this girl!

Its been nearly 2 weeks since Paige and I returned from New Hampshire. Dakotah stayed behind with my sister. Tonight, we are going to meet them halfway to pick her up.

Typical of a teenager, this child can drive me crazy! Most especially with her having mono over the last three months - we have spent every day together. She is a 'velcro' kid, and likes to be near me when she is home. If I leave the house, she wants to go - if I go from one room to another, she follows.

She and I are close, and there is very little about her every day life that she doesn't share with me, right down to the last minute detail. I know every detail of who likes who, which friend of hers got new shoes, you name it.

There are times when she says my name that I have to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and then say, "what, Dakotah?"

Sometimes when I say my prayers at night, I simply say, "Lord, give me strength to get through the next few years." I long for peace and quiet for just 20 minutes, when I'm not be demanded upon. I crave those days when I'm older and my house is quiet again for a while.

So, I knew this little break would do us good.

Because, my goodness...I miss her. I miss her a lot. She spent a few days on Prince Edward Island, where phone contact was limited.

I nearly went crazy. I want her back. I want my little girl/big girl back home. I can't wait to hear every detail of the last two weeks, and to plan out the rest of our summer together.

She starts high school in a couple of weeks. She is planning a trip to France in her Junior year and a trip to Italy in her Senior year.

And in four short years, I will be sending her away to University. And most likely, that will be far away, in New York City or Boston.

I want her to take me with her - to watch every detail of her beautiful life unfold. I want to see her grow, and learn, and be there to pick her up when she falls.

I want the world for my lovely daughter.

Trying To Make Apples Out of Oranges

I saw Oprah show the other day on autism. Naturally, I was interested in what everyone had to say, and wanted to see how so many families are doing with their children who are autistic.

Since Paige has been born, I've always been somewhat puzzled about human development and human nature. We try to be so politically correct, and so unbiased, and so accepting of people who are different, whether it be because of race, religion, color, ability, etc.

But, I sometimes feel as if I fall very short of that non-prejudice way that I am supposed to be living.

I wrestle with a lot of things when I consider Paige "disabled." Even more so in the last year, as we have received an additional diagnosis of autism, and as I have been reading so much about autism itself through the eyes of a person who is autistic. Amanda has made me re-think so many things, and has made me realize maybe I haven't been that far off in the things that I have considered.

Like most parents of a child with T21, or other developmental challenge, I have, at times, felt very guilty and very much like a bad Mom when I haven't been rigid in my "training" of Paige - when I have let a therapy slip, or tossed away an afternoon by playing in the pool instead of working on letters or speech, or behavior.

I think for all of us, there's always this nagging thought that we could have done just a little more...and if we did, maybe our kids would be just a little farther ahead in their progress if we did.

But, here's the rub...

I have always accessed all of the available services for Paige - OT, PT, SLP, hippotherapy - you name it, we have faithfully signed up for it all.

Yet, here I am, the mom of a beautiful, intelligent little girl of 10 who does not speak...who by all accounts, is perhaps at around a 3 year old age level in all areas (except speech, of course).

What I wrestle with, though, is this...

Maybe, just maybe, its quite o.k. that she is developmentally 3 years old. Maybe, just maybe, that is exactly how God has intended her to be. Maybe she's not broken, and maybe I shouldn't be trying to glue the pieces back together.

We all say we want our kids to be happy. Would Paige be immensely happier if I were able to train the T21 or autism out of her? I'm not so sure she would be...because she seems quite joyous just as she is.

Is it fair for us to strive so much to bring our kids closer to "normal"? Or is it simply our desire to have them be more "normal?"

Obviously, we should be doing everything we can for our kids to help them achieve their best, just like we would do with our typical children. But how much farther should we go...how much harder should we push kids with developmental delays?

At what point does it rob them of their ability to be "normal" in their own context? Amanda writes often of liking herself just as she is, and wanting to be accepted just as she is; she doesn't require fixing.

We really must not forget the benefits of a good giggle fest on the floor of the living room, or a strawberry dipped in whipping cream just because it tastes good, not because it helps with oral motor skills.

We have to remember the joy of reading for the sake of reading, not just as an essential quest to allow our children independence. Bubbles in the bathtub are just as beneficial when they are fun and silly and making Santa beards as they are when they are part of speech therapy.

And while we are at it, we need to give ourselves a break about being perfect parents. Because you know what? Perfect parents of perfect children have kids that have temper tantrums in the mall, and cry over nothing sometimes, and strike another child because she has his toy.

In the video on Oprah, one parent worried about her son's "inappropriate touching" of strangers. He liked to hug people. Imagine the horror!!! Imagine how bad it would be if we got 50 hugs a day instead of two or three? Imagine when a teenager with autism claps his hands excitedly and cheers because he recognizes a song he loves?

I'm starting a campaign - I'll be that person who welcomes the inappropriate behavior of a person with autism or T21. If there's a song on the radio that requires a dance, I'll stop and dance - if someone wants to hug me, I'll take 10 or 15 seconds out of my day to receive and return that hug. If someone wants to teach me a tune that consists of a few repetitive syllables, I'll be happy to sing along.

In the meantime, for all of those people who try to train our kids out of inappropriate behavior who might be worried about job security, I've got a few suggestions for you...

Maybe you can work on the person who cuts me off on the highway and flips me the bird. Or who stands 10 feet outside the front door of a building and smokes at me. Or waits on me in the grocery store without so much as a kind word, or an acknowledgement of my presence. Or who stops and stares at me when I share a full body hug with Paige, that involves wrapping not only arms, but legs around my body and saying, "I love" over and over again. Or the one who swears at her child in Walmart out of frustration.

Maybe everyone needs to work on appropriate behavior sometimes.

Summer Days...

The summer is passing so quickly. In just a few weeks, the kids will be back in school, I will be back at work, and our days will be filled with schedules and assignments.

We have been taking great advantage of our summer this year. In addition to lots and lots (and LOTS!) of baseball, we have been swimming and planning a little cottage trip that all of us will be going on during the 3rd week of August.

We are going here: Cobden Village. Its a nice resort that has water slides, wading pools, a big lake, mini-golf, and a petting zoo...a kid and parent paradise :)



Kirby will be staying with my friend, Julie while we are away. There is just too much water at this resort for Kirby to behave himself well! He totally has the personality of whatever percentage of Newfie is in him, and he cannot stand to be within a mile of water without being in it.

With good intentions of course, he will be trying to rescue every human he spots in the water, and drag them to safety on land.

This will probably be cute for the first 100 people, but after that, it may get a little annoying.

So, he will be staying on a REAL farm with cows and kittens (and deer, and raccoon, and *eek* skunks, and things that go Bump In The Night), and of course...with his girlfriend, Millie, who might just teach him to climb a tree and not be afraid of little hoppy toads and butterflies!

I have also just returned from a week in New Hampshire with the girls. Paige came back with me, but Dakotah is staying for another two weeks or so...she always spends some time there in the summer with my family.

We had a good time - its always nice spending time with my sister and catching up on all of the gossip about the town I grew up in. I'm so shocked to see how real estate has skyrocketed in the area...the house I grew up in is now considered "prime" and its incredible the price tag that would be put on our house now.

Someday we are going to be brave and knock on the door and ask the new owners if we can see what they have done to the house.

I love old houses - love the history and character and charm that come with them. We would love to tell them stories of the house and our family growing up there...how our dog would lie behind the woodstove on cold winter mornings, and my father would simmer a big pot of apples on the top of it in the fall.

Friday would have been my dad's 75th birthday - I so would have loved him to have the chance to get old - I'm sure he would still have that funny personality, that snow white hair, and those bright blue eyes we all inherited.

Blogger Reflection Award

Nicole at All 4 My Gals has nominated me for this award.

"The “Blogger Reflection Award” should make an individual reflect upon five bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and who have provided a Godly example. In other words, five dear bloggers whom, when you reflect upon them, you are filled with a sense of pride and joy...of knowing them and being blessed by them.”

Of course, with this criteria, I would nominate Nicole again (her fourth nomination!) if I could. She has always been such a kindred soul of mine. It seems so strange to say we've never met - because she is like a sister to me, and it would be so natural to just "hang out" with her. She has a great laugh, and a strong sense of herself and her relationship with God. Her generous spirit is amazing.

This is what Nicole had to say about me:

"My first nomination is to Betsy at "Bits of Betsy" who truly is my mentor in so many ways. Betsy is one of the first moms who reached out to me and helped me after I received my prenatal diagnosis. Over the last 7+ years she has shown me what true friendship is, what true love for your children looks like and what love for the Lord can do in our lives."

Here are my nominations:

1) Tara Marie at Emma Sage's blog. TM shares her family's life through pictures of her children, and her extended family. She never fails to capture the true meaning in a photograph - from her dear Mamie's hands, to Emma Sage catching a frog, to Otto all dressed up in his Little League uniform. TM also weaves a beautiful life story for us, full of wonderful stories of her mom and her Irish roots, and her journey of raising Emma Sage. TM is always an inspiration to me, a constant reminder that Paige is as she should be, that she does not need to be fixed, and that the greatest tool in raising a fulfilled, amazing young lady is love.

2) Heather at Especially Heather. Heather has recently been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Heather's faith has been tested over and over again, as she has seen much hardship in the past few years. Her daughter, Emma, underwent a heart transplant. Heather writes about her daily struggles with her illness, as well as her incredible faith in the Lord. She is honest in her writing, and doesn't sugar coat her fears. My prayers are often with Heather as she struggles to get better.

3) Matt & Ginny tell their story of Eliot, their little boy who died at 99 days old. Eliot was born with a fatal chromosomal condition called Trisomy 18, and his parents knew they must treasure every day of his life. Their faith in God led them through the days of Eliot's life, and all of us should find true inspiration in the strength they showed as they cherished their son. Please watch the beautiful tribute to Eliot.

4) Amanda Baggs at Ballastexistenz. Probably more than any blog I've ever read, Amanda has completely changed my perspective - not only about people with Autism, but about how we judge a person based on their exterior. Amanda's posts and videos make me reflect and re-think things I thought I knew so much about, but really, knew very, very little about. She is an intelligent, well-read, very thoughtful person who has so much to offer the world. It is a shame for anyone who does not take the time to learn from her.

5) My last award goes to someone who reminds me that God has a great sense of humor as well. This person is so funny, so "out there" sometimes, but yet, so well-grounded and so very sweet too. I just know she is the kind of person who lights up a room when she walks into it - who laughs out loud, and doesn't hold back on her opinions. She lives with great passion, and great joy. We would (and will!) be fast friends the moment we meet - and she will make me feel 21 again, I'm sure. This nomination goes to LauraQ at Now I'm a Mom.

Here are the rules for those who have been nominated!

• Copy this post
• Reflect on five bloggers and write at least a paragraph on each one.
• Make sure you link this post so others can read it.
  
• Post the rules.
• Leave your chosen bloggers a comment so they know they have been nominated.
• Place the award on your site.
  

To My Amazing Daughter

Dear Dakotah,

Tomorrow, I will drop you off for a very important event that may very well change your life forever. You will join 500 other teenagers as you Journey to The Father.

Having been on retreat before, I know the power of these experiences, and I hope (and pray) that you will open yourself up to the beauty of the weekend, that you will fully embrace all that you are about to experience, and that you will come back a richer, fuller, more beautiful young lady than you already are.

You have been one of my greatest joys, my best blessings, and I thank God for you every single day, when I wake up in the morning, and before I close my eyes at night. I have so many hopes and dreams for you as you go through the next phase of your life...being a teenager is exciting, challenging, and tough at the same time.

You will have so many choices to make, and I hope that we have given you the foundation you need to chose wisely. I hope you will leave your heart open enough to love deeply, and that those who you allow in will treat you with great respect and do their best not to hurt you.

Still, there will be times when you are hurt - when a friend betrays you or a boy rejects you. You will feel like the world is ending.

Remember, though, that Our Lord never, ever abandons you. Reach for Him in the quiet of the night. Talk to Him. More importantly, listen to and for Him. I have found that has been the biggest lesson for me. I will pray and pray, and be frustrated that He is not hearing me, and not answering my prayers, and then, I will take a deep breath, and realize that I just need to be still, to sit in silence, to relax, and then...suddenly, I feel Him, and know He is there.

This is a very unique experience, one that teenagers travel for hundreds of miles to attend. We are very lucky that we are just 15 minutes away from The Retreat.

This is just a part of what you will see...

Summer Sisters

At the baseball fields - where we spend half our lives!!

I'm a Rockin' Girl!

My silly friend, Nic, nominated me for this award. Not exactly for the content of my blog, but because we're still just glad we get called "girl" once in a while, (mixed in with all those ma'am's!)

I'm sure there was a time in my life when I was a Rockin' Girl - I'm sure of it!!

I think it happened sometime between being President of the National Honor Society, 2nd in my high school graduating class, Class VP, etc., and well...getting married at 27. Let's face it, that gave me 9 years to do something rockin.

So, just for fun, I'll remember some of those times...those times when I was actually cool for a while - or thought I was, lol.

1) Living in NH, I was very politically active, and the company I worked for hosted all of the Democratic and Republican Candidates for the 1988 elections. I was one of 9 employees (interestingly enough, those selected were all single girls in their 20's at the time!) to cater these forums. It was an interesting few weeks, and I partied with more than a few top name candidates, secret service guys, and the various entourages that trailed along. I was all Paris Hilton, living the celeb life, for a while.

2) I won a wet t-shirt contest at a biker bar once. I still have the "Party Naked" t-shirt that I won for my stunning performance, lol.

3) I jumped out of my friend Ken's 40th birthday cake, donning red one-piece union jack pj's, and a tutu. I danced to "Leave Your Hat On" by Joe Cocker (whom I saw in concert once!)

4) This same friend, Ken, and I made roast beef sandwiches on a ceiling after a particularly festive night at a town hall dance. Note: things stick better with mayonnaise.

5) I once went to a Halloween dance at the same Town Hall, dressed with three other friends as crayons. My friend Allison mooned a police officer, and I charmed her way clear of getting in trouble by giving my sister's phone number to the officer (he had dated her years before in high school). He then basically stalked my sister for months on end - showing up at her house uninvited, calling her, etc. - She was already married with two kids at the time.

6) I was pulled up on stage during a "Sawyer Brown" (I know, no one knows who they are!) concert because I was wearing pink high-top Converse that matched one of the bass players. He stopped the concert and autographed them for me! Funny thing is, Dakotah now has a HUGE obsession with Converse running shoes.

7) I once dated a sales rep from the company I worked for who was easily 20 years my senior. He romanced me like the sugar daddy he was - taking me to concerts, out to dinner, his weekend cottage, etc.

We "broke up" because the last date I had with him was to meet him in this very posh restaurant for dinner. He requested that I wear red. I showed up in a red dress, spotted him, and he rose to meet me. As he guided me back to "our" table, there was a woman sitting there (also in red) who could have been my very own twin - except she, too, was 20 years my senior! She introduced herself as his wife, and told me she had heard wonderful things about me.

Needless to say...I had heard NOTHING about her - and I ended that relationship very, very quickly!!!

8) I once bought a car because the sales rep who test drove it with me flirted shamelessly with me, and told me that my eyes matched the color blue it was, and that my blonde hair was gorgeous. It was a blue Dodge Daytona - the car that later became the "Official Car of the NHL" - something I'm sure totally impressed my soon-to-be husband when I met him.

So...there you go - I was cool - or foolish - or a little bit of both at one time.

Now, I'm everything your Daddy wants you to grow up to be, lol - responsible, moral, boring...
People describe me as "inspiring" and "sweet." I volunteer, carpool my kids around in a MINIVAN, advocate for my children, am active in their schools, etc.

I cook homemade meals, and bake cookies for friends.

But, hey, sometimes I bring along a bottle of wine. Does that help me retain my Rockin' Girl status?

Did I mention I have a tatoo???