Happy New Year!

Wow - 2010 is here! And so....here we come 2010!

Its a quiet day in my house, the snow is falling steady and lightly outside, Dakotah is still sleeping, Paige is watching her Sesame Street New Year video for the 200th time, and I'm trying to be all reflective and contemplative.

I'm contemplating resolutions, and wondering which ones I should make, which ones I should ignore, and which ones I might actually keep! I'm not feeling ready to gear up for a brand new year just yet, so I think I'm going to wallow in this semi-holiday weekend, and commit only on Monday.

One thing I have thought a lot about for the new year is where my blog is going. Since joining facebook, I have sorely neglected blogging. I have always maintained that I wanted my blog to be a sort of gift to my children - a chronicle of their daily lives, my thoughts as a Mom as I raised them, and a place where they would know the real me - free of the everyday stuff like laundry that never ends, lol.

As Dakotah gets older, I'm more cautious about what I post about her, as she has the right to pick and choose what stories I share, no matter how cute or funny I think they are. :) She is so quickly becoming a young woman, and not only my oldest daughter, but a wonderful friend as well.

I think, especially as Moms, we hold so much history for our children - stories that are never remembered or repeated except by us. Family histories, and just funny moments we hold on to of our kids that only we share.

Its something I've always thought about - how so much of that goes with us, and unless we get it down, it gets forgotten.

A couple of months ago, I stumbled about a great idea, called "Journal In A Jar" which is basically a series of questions that are posed to help you get started on writing down the important stuff. I think this would be such a wonderful gift to give to someone - and then, in return, a wonderful gift to receive when it was all done - the chronicles of someone's life.

So, because my blog means so much to me, and because I've slacked off on the every day musings of our life, I will be relying on some of these questions to keep my posts going. Randomly, I'll post a question and then journal about it, in no particular order other than what catches my eye on that day.

I hope some of my friends and readers will find some inspiration and lead me to their blogs where they answer some of these same questions. And who knows, some of you may find yourselves the subject of my day's post! :)

Merry Christmas!

It seems impossible that Christmas has come and gone already. It was just yesterday that all the commotion in our house was celebrating Dakotah's 16th birthday.

This year we were especially thankful for the health of our family. This was the first Christmas in three years that Paige has not been in a full body cast, laid out on the floor on her back to open presents. She is so close to walking again - but progress is slow, and she is unsure of herself, still afraid to take those first adventerous steps.

She is such a good kid - so good natured and easy going. So many routines have been tipped upsidedown over the last few weeks, and she thrives on routine. Still, she has handled it all like she always does - taking like as it comes, and smiling all the way.

Dakotah has enjoyed her holiday off - she is the typical teenager - crawling out of bed very late in the morning or even early afternoon. Its always in the back of my head that there are just a couple of years left for her to be in our little nest, for our Christmas to be like it is, and not just her coming home from school, etc.

She is gearing up to exams and big semester projects due in the next couple of weeks. She is enjoying that newly acquired driving licence - and wanting to drive everywhere, all the time. With all the freezing rain we have had over the past few days, she is quite bummed when we tell her no!

I hope all of my friends and family had wonderful holidays and created memories that will last a lifetime!

Another party picture!

Dakotah even had tie dye jello shooters (non-alcoholic) at her party. How fun are these?!

You're 16 - You're Beautiful - And You're Mine!

Well, mine for a little while longer at least.

Dakotah turned 16 on Saturday. We ushered the night in 60's style, with retro clothes, lots of Beatles music, tie dye stuff, and peace signs, baby. Add in a dinner and dance, and a fun bartender for mocktails, and the night was fantastic.

I hope Dakotah remembers the night for years to come. She wrote on her facebook page that night:

“Life gives us brief moments with another...but sometimes in those brief moments we get memories that last a life time...”

So true...

Here are some pictures of her magical night.

Getting ready for the night with her friends Alex and Jess:

Here's to you!


Her friend, Nick, showing her the picture he took of the "Imagine" memorial in NYC at Strawberry Fields. Telling her the story of the guy who decorates there every day.

My hippie girl and her buddy "EZ"

Opening the frame that has tickets to "Never Shout Never" in it:

Realizing she is going to a Never Shout Never Concert, and in her own words, "meeting my future husband, Christofer Drew"

I love you, my sweet girl....

Upside down and 'round and 'round

What a crazy mixed up week it has been. My entire neck, back, and spine feel like someone is shooting poison stress arrows at me on a minute-by-minute basis. I'm surely getting old, which I guess isn't that bad of a thing to be doing.

The girls started school on Tuesday. Dakotah has a pretty full course load, but she seemed ready to return and dig into the routine. She has just two years left of high school, and even she seems a bit shocked by that - its going by as fast for her as it seems to be for me.

Paige was more than thrilled to start back at school too - she loves it, loves being there, loves being with her friends, loves the routine. Unfortunately, there have been some bumps for her start this year - we haven't figured out busing just yet, and I was more than shocked to arrive Tuesday after school to pick her up to discover that her aide had been cut to just a half day.

I was most upset because it was done without speaking to me, or even informing me, and even her teacher and the aide herself were surprised with the news on the very first day of school.

She has an IEP in place, and I'm confident that it will be ironed out, as it seems to be mostly a scheduling blip made during the summer by the former principal, but it isn't solved yet, and I've got my hackles up about it - ready to make some noise if it doesn't change by week's end.

Right now, she is physically dependent for help with basic needs like walking and toileting, and its not even comprehensible that anyone would think she could go a half day every day without assistance in those areas. Couple that with the fact that she is non-verbal, and needs someone to work with her academically during the day, and well, it is not only unacceptable that they do not carry out the IEP as outlined, it is illegal.

I'm trying to be calm and nice about it, but I'm also determined and quite ready to be assertive in any way that will bring the quickest result. The nice way would be to schedule meetings and bring representatives in, etc, but the fast way is probably to make some noise publicly - the whole squeaky wheel theory, you know.

So, we'll see how that goes.

My job has been really stressful lately too - my boss isn't sure of the direction of his company, and every day seems to bring a different "game plan" to the table. Its difficult trying to follow rules and procedures when they change on a daily basis. So, I don't know where that is going either.

And of course, regular "life" stuff happens - the engine on my van went; it was a $2,000 repair. Next week, we are putting in a new oil furnace at a cost of $1,500. Back to school uniforms and expenses have crept up on me - its always something :)

Last Friday night, Dakotah was at a friend's house for an end of summer party, with about 20 or 30 of her friends from high school when one of the boys was called away suddenly. They found out later that his dad had died very suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 52.

All of Dakotah's friends went to the wake tonight - the first one Dakotah has ever been to. It was emotional for them all, and powerful to know that they were all supporting one another and leaning on each other to be there for their friend Cody.

I was proud of her for going, and would have liked to be there when she did, but it was sort of a rite of passage for the kids as they all went in to express their sympathy together.

As I was driving to school to pick Paige up today, I was thinking there isn't a single spot in my life that doesn't feel stressful. Of course, that isn't completely true - everyone is healthy, well-fed, has a nice warm bed to sleep in, etc.

But, I was feeling a little whiney, to say the least.

Then, I arrived at school, went into Paige's classroom, where I was met with the most beautiful little girl-our friend Emma - who ran to me, jumped in my arms, hugged me tight, and said my name over and over again, and then jumped up and down with excitement.

With a greeting like that, who wouldn't leave with a smile on her face, no matter how goofy the world is acting right now?

A Paige funny!

Paige has been able to run the dvd player from a very young age. She has favorite movies, and even before she recognized letters and words, she could tell just by looking at them which ones were her favorite.

She can fast forward or rewind the dvd with exact precision to the spot she wants to watch, and she has spots on her favorite movies that she likes to watch over and over again. Anyone who visits our house leaves us humming a tune or singing a song that they can't get out of their head for probably hours after, lol.

So, the other day, she couldn't find the movie she wanted. She had the case, but no movie. So, she picks up the case, looks for a dvd in the group that has no writing on it. She then took the blank dvd and the case of the movie she wanted to the computer, handed it to Wayne who was sitting there, then opened the door to the dvd writer on the computer, put the dvd in, and waited, hoping that Wayne would find a copy of it and burn it for her.

She is so smart that girl of mine!!!

Happy Dance!!

*drum roll*

Tonight, coming back from the bathroom, Wayne let go of Paige's hand for a few seconds, and she STOOD ALL BY HERSELF in the middle of the living room. No other support, no walker, no wheelchair, no wall to hold on to, nothing but air, baby!!!

She was scared to death, and wasn't too happy until we started screaming and celebrating, and then she realized it was something to be proud of.

She couldn't figure out how to sit down without help, and didn't lift her foot to take a step, but she stood and it was glorious!!

How lucky I will be to witness first steps again!! Yahoo!!!

OW!

I think I broke my toe. I was going up the stairs in the dark two nights ago and of course, the stuff I left on the stairs to be taken up by Wayne or Dakotah had simply been stepped over on their way to bed.

So, as I realized it was still there, I reached to pick it up, and as I did, my foot collided with the big column base at the foot of our stair railing. It hurt like a beeotch but I shook it off - until I laid down in bed, and touching my toe to the sheet sent throbbing, pulsating pain into my foot. Every time I moved, it woke me up.

Geez. Now its all bruised and swollen looking and pushing its two brother toes off to the side.

You don't realize how much you use a tiny little toe, especially one that's not even on the side of your foot. It stretches with every step. Every time someone comes within 10 feet of me, I scream, "watch my toe!!!"

Kirby is like a magnet to it - he's stepped on it about 20 times already.

I'm pretty sure I'll recover from this tragedy, lol, as I did the same thing about 15 years ago when I tripped on Wayne's golf bag. Its already feeling a bit better, but it would be nice if I could suck some sympathy out of it for a while. :)

Good thing I don't have big feet - I can't even keep these small ones out of the way of anything.

I think I need to invent a toe sling.

Or maybe a toe cast.

And then you could all sign it in teeny tiny letters.