I really believe that we have to take life in bits and pieces. I have a very hyper personality, and its very hard for me not to make lists - lists of things to do, lists of things I don't want to do, list of things I don't want to forget, etc.
Its very overwhelming - I know we lead a much busier and crazy life than my parents did when they were raising kids.
I get very easily frustrated by the meaningless stuff that takes up so much of my life...the mundane chores that come with motherhood, and the things that, no matter how many times you do them, they still come back at you - laundry, cleaning, etc.
Today, I did something I rarely ever do. I handed a project that I had planned to do for a very, very special little girl back to her Mom, telling her I was so sorry, I had just bitten off more than I could chew. It was so precious to me that I couldn't do a "good enough" job at it - it had to be precise and perfect, and I just could not find the time to do it.
I feel beyond horrible about it.
My sister and I have opened a store at Etsy.com called "Bean Stocks." Our maiden name is Bean, and we thought the play on the word Stalks (for card stock, etc) was cute. We haven't gotten it set up yet, but we are both very creative (my sister has been instrumental in opening a very successful art gallery, and has won many awards for her New England nature photography). It will have lots of homemade cards on it, and some other crafts as well.
I'm tossing around another idea about teaching some classes as well, that I will post about another time.
This week, Paige had school pictures taken. We know the photographer personally, and he is so sweet. He took a ton of pictures of Paige, all with smiles and laughs, but the vast majority of them had her hands in the picture as well. He was so bummed that he told Paige's aide he was coming back the next day to try again. So, more than 50 pictures later, I'm told I will LOVE the one he got when it comes back. We'll see!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I adore Paige's hands, and would actually prefer they be in the photograph - they are very precise to me, and it wouldn't be Paige without them there!
I totally sympathize with him - I've spent many hours in Sears, breaking a full sweat as I tried to get two kids to look at the camera at the same time, to smile, to sit up straight, to put your dress down, etc.
Two weeks ago, Wayne brought me home a laptop of my very own, and said, "There, now get that book written." I've spent many hours doing just that! I'm well on my way, and am very surprised at the emotional toll its taking on me to relive some of the more difficult moments of my life over again.
I suspect it will be one of those books that start of being about one thing and end up being about quite another.
And today, we had a birthday party for Kirby!!! Check back in the morning for pictures and a complete story!