Thursday, March 16, 2006

100 Things About Me

100 Things About Me

1) I am obsessed with the name Ruby for a little girl. I dream about adopting a baby just so I can use the name. Most likely, I will end up with a dog named Ruby, lol.
2) I was voted “Most Likely To Succeed” and “Most Business Minded” in my high school graduating class.
3) The real truth is, at 42, I really don’t want to “be” anything when I grow up…If I were financially able, I could entertain myself quite easily without ever having a job, thank you very much.
4) I am easily entertained and hardly ever bored.
5) I could spend my days advocating, visiting families with children with Down Syndrome, writing, decorating my house, and doing crafts.
6) I am never more at home than I am in a crowd of little ones with Down Syndrome. It’s like a big sigh of contentment.
7) I fantasize about winning the lottery every day, and have intricate plans about what I’d do with the money should I win. I actually believe I will win a large amount of money some day, although I rarely ever buy a lottery ticket.
8) If I ever won a large amount of money, I would become very eccentric. I would definitely pay it forward to less fortunate people, most especially to families of special needs children. I would not give money frivolously to my children or extended family. I would expect them to pay it forward as well.
9) I would love to design and build a home, without cost restriction, and spend a large amount of time decorating it just as I want to. It would be filled with antiques and strange pieces that had a story behind them.
10) I love going to estate auctions. I make up intricate fantasies about the “stuff” that is there, the history behind the old quilts, and huge dining room tables, etc.
11) My biggest find was a set of Wedgwood dishes that I paid $4.00 for…later to find out they were worth nearly $2000.
12) I love wine, although I very rarely drink it. If it weren’t for the whole alcohol factor, I’d drink it every single day, all day. I like the whole process of wine…choosing the right bottle, the right glass, the right temperature, etc. I also love Grey Goose Cosmo’s, straight up.
13) I have an older sister and an older brother.
14) I think my childhood memories are much different than theirs are.
15) I was the consummate daddy’s girl, and miss my father horribly since his death. I cry often about missing him, although I never tell anyone.
16) I’ve come to realize how needy and unstable my mother is. And I have very little tolerance for her inability to make any changes in herself.
17) In some ways, my siblings are my only remaining family.
18) I have very detailed, disturbing dreams many nights a week, and I remember all of the details of them when I wake up.
19) I am a city girl, although I’ve lived in a small town for at least half my life.
20) I am both an extrovert and a loner.
21) I could easily keep to myself for weeks and months at a time and not get lonely for friends. I dream of removing myself from everything for 30 days, and just writing.
22) At the same time, I always thought my married life would include lots and lots of couple friends, dinner parties, get togethers, etc. It does not. And that makes me kind of sad.
23) I feel very much an outsider in my world, like I am watching a movie of things that are happening around me.
24) When Paige is at school, I cannot stand to have Blue’s Clues or Caillou or any children’s show on the TV at all. It makes me incredibly sad to hear them without her here, and I will weep uncontrollably if they are on.
25) October 17 has always been my favorite day of the year. I used to throw “Happy October 17” parties when I was younger. I think I willed Dakotah to be born on that day.
26) I am opposite of Wayne in almost every way. Sometimes it amazes me that we ever function as husband and wife, so different are our views about everything, the way we handle problems, the way we interact with each other and our children.
27) I am an incredibly loyal friend, yet I don’t seem to maintain friendships for years and years.
28) I rarely miss people…when a friend drifts away, I quickly become detached, and just let that friendship dissolve. I don’t know why I do this.
29) I self diagnose myself constantly. But, I rarely go to a doctor, because I fear he will think I am a hypochondriac, even when my symptoms are very real. I’ve never been to see a doctor who didn’t tell me I should have come in sooner with whatever was wrong, so I don’t know where the fear of wasting his time comes from.
30) I had whooping cough when I was 15 and missed 4 months of high school. The only people I saw were my parents and sister during that time.
31) I have always loved small, fast cars. In my youth, I lusted over miata’s & mazda RX7’s. As an adult, I dream of the BMW convertible in a true blue color. And lately, I am yearning for a new Pontiac Solstice Roadster.
32) I never owned a small sports car because my father worried about my safety in them, and I feel like I am betraying him to drive one. Instead, I drive a van, something I promised never to own.
33) Someday, I’ll own a motorcycle.
34) I love reality TV. The bigger the train wreck, the better. I loved the show “Temptation Island” because the premise was so insane. I would watch Big Brother all summer if I didn’t have to admit to it.
35) I would never be on Survivor or The Amazing Race. I’d be the person who gave up after the word “Go” was shouted. I don’t do well with creepy crawly things, or with getting lost. I’d never, ever take Wayne with me on either of these shows….we would last exactly 5 minutes before I was d.o.n.e.
36) I’m not a good traveler. It makes me very uneasy to be away from home. This has only started since my kids were born.
37) I used to be a total adrenaline junkie. I wanted to jump out of planes, bungee jump, and go on all of the fastest roller coasters. Now, I want no part of any of that. I think it’s my responsibility to my children that makes me stop.
38) I have a horrific irrational fear of bats. To the point where I know that I could easily have a nervous breakdown if I am confronted with one.
39) I don’t like being the center of attention…I don’t like opening birthday gifts in front of people, didn’t like my showers, etc. I don’t want to be the chair of a committee, or the president of anything. I am definitely the “worker bee” and have no problem doing the behind the scenes work.
40) I do love public speaking though, and am totally at ease doing it.
41) I am much more religious than anyone that knows me thinks I am. I believe completely, and have great reverence for my religion. I think that the consecration of bread and wine to body and blood of Christ is awesome, and I am truly, truly honored to be able to take communion.
42) I find great comfort in being able to just close my eyes and say to God, “I trust you with this; I put it in your hands; guide me.
43) I am secretly terrified that I am not worthy of all of the blessings I have been given in my life. I am afraid someone will discover that I am faking the person I am, and will take it all away.
44) My favorite color is red. It’s a happy color.
45) I have a great sense of humor, and am very quick witted.
46) I am a kind person.
47) I am a good Mom.
48) I know without a doubt that I am a better mother to Paige than I am to Dakotah. I find it much easier and much more natural to parent Paige…it truly feels like I am called to parent her. Dakotah challenges me much more, questions me, makes me worry and fret, and wonder if I’ll succeed with her.
49) I would never cheat on my spouse. Ever.
50) edited for silliness
51) I believe life evolves in cyclical fashion…there are good times, and bad, crazy times, and mad times, and waiting it out really helps.
52) I can’t wait to see how my life turns out. I can’t wait to see what my children will be like as adults.
53) I love freshly picked strawberries, still warm from the summer sun. They are the reason I believe in God…nothing could be made so perfectly by anyone except Him. I can eat a quart of them in one sitting. I want them as nature gives them to me…sweet, warm, juicy and fresh. I do not want them in a shortcake. I do not want sugar or cream or anything else on them. I will concede to frozen strawberry dauquiris though!
54) I was a straight A student in school, and am very intelligent. I forget that, and am surprised when I achieve something that someone else doesn’t.
55) My parents never pushed or even really encouraged me to be all that I can be. I believe if they had, my life would have been quite different.
56) I have a “wild” side that I have kept under control for my whole life. I have a good moral base, and good judgment, so I have always known “how far is too far.” Sometimes, I teetered on the edge.
57) If my husband was a drinker, I’d probably be one too. I partied a lot when I was young, and have very good, fun memories of it. I wouldn’t trade that part of my life, but know it had its place and its time.
58) I got married at 27. I think that is the perfect age to get married. I really enjoyed my “single” life, and had a chance to do a lot of fun things in my 20’s, and I was ready for the next stage in my life then.
59)I wish I had Brushfield spots. But I did inherit my father’s crystal blue eyes that I passed on to Paige.
60) I lust over John Travolta. My heart flutters when I see him.
61) I am resentful of stuff I don’t have sometimes. I don’t like that characteristic.
62) I stink at taking pictures of my children. I have rolls of undeveloped film. And stacks of pictures not placed in a photo album.
63) I need glasses, and don’t ever bother going to get them, although I have to hold things farther and farther away from me.
64) I am a good writer. I want to write a book. I have a story to tell.
65) I thank God for giving me both the gift of a healthy child, and a child who was critically ill. I needed both in my life to learn the lessons I needed to learn.
66) I hate smoking. Hate, hate, hate it.
67) I have been diagnosed with OCD. Mine is classified as “thinking” OCD…meaning I don’t outwardly feed my obsessions & compulsions, but I do crazy, goofy things in my head because of it, such as making lists, going over events over and over again, etc. For the most part, I embrace it, as it has been a part of me since I was a child…and I am very high-functioning because of it…able to do a lot of things at the same time, keep very organized, etc. But, when its’ bad, it’s bad. A real pain in the butt.
68) I am a horrible insomniac, and can specifically remember probably 3 or 4 nights in my life where I actually slept 8 hours straight.
69) I have a very good sense of perspective…I can remember the defining moment in my life when I decided that I would laugh and find great joy in life, and not worry so much about other people’s opinions.
70) I never remember movies after I’ve seen them. I can rent a movie one weekend, and then go back the next and re-rent it, not realizing I have just seen it.
71) I can join just about any 60’s, 70’s, 80’s top 40 song after the first few notes, and sing along with it. But I cannot tell you the title or the artist who sang it.
72) My life plan is very, very different than I expected it to be, in almost every single way. I would have never guessed it to be as it is.
73) I don’t really have any “life regrets,” although if I were given the same life over again, I’d take lots of different paths next time, just for the adventure of it.
74) I am short. And overweight. I would love to be thin just once in my life, but I haven’t put in the work to make that happen.
75) I wish I were a jogger. And a health food nut. I wish that way of life would come easily to me.
76) I am not vain. I brush the idea of plastic surgery off very easily, and very rarely worry about clothing or hair or any of the “cosmetic” parts of myself. I don’t fuss over things like that. I like me o.k. as I am I guess.
77) I pretty much hate all housework. But I do a ton of it.
78) Autumn is my favorite time of year, and the time I miss New England the most.
79) Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. All that good food and no stress of Christmas, lol.
80) My birthday is February 17. My sign is Aquarius. I love that my birthstone is amethyst. I’ve always loved that stone, and wanted it as an engagement ring.
81) I love lilacs, and wish I could have had them as my wedding flowers. There are lilac trees out my dining room window.
82) I love to color, and have my own set of crayons that my kids don’t know about.
83) I have no idea what other people would say about me if you asked them to describe me.
84) I have a lot of pet peeves. A lot.
85) I don’t like a lot of noise. The only time I can really tolerate music is when I’m driving in the car alone. It makes me absolutely crazy to have to listen to a concert that Wayne has downloaded off the internet from 1977, full blast, with him singing to it. I want to run screaming from the room, and bite my tongue constantly for him to turn it off.
86) I think I’d be good at playing an instrument like a flute or a saxophone.
87) I was a really cute baby.
88) My earliest memory is watching the show “Dark Shadows.” I was very young, still in a crib, and had horrible, horrible nightmares of that show. There was a skeleton in the closet in the opening scene, and I would dream it was dancing around my crib. I remember thinking that my mother would be harmed if she came to pick me up.
89) I dislike being kissed, or held down in any way, or to be held very tightly. It comes from some instances in my childhood that I don’t talk to anyone about.
90) I loved to play floor hockey and racquetball when I was younger. They were the only sports I was any good at.
91) I love to cook, and equate lots of food with a happy home. I love to buy lots of groceries, plan meals out for a couple of weeks ahead of time, and do all the cooking for it in one or two days. It comforts me to know that my family is taken care of.
92) I am an excellent proofreader and can pick out an error in the newspaper in ten seconds flat.
93) I lost a job as an assistant to an Interior Decorator for a huge company once because I failed the color blind test. I have failed every color blind test I’ve ever taken.
94) I think everyone has a quirky skill. Mine is the ability to set the oven timer, walk away from it, forget about it, yet I will get up to go to the kitchen and it will start to ring every single time.
95) When my life is over, the one thing I will wish I had more of is time.
96) My favorite fast food is a sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub from Subway, with a little bit of lettuce, red onion, and sweet onion sauce, with a Diet Pepsi, and sun chips on the side.
97) I had terrible morning sickness throughout every one of my pregnancies. There is food that I still will not eat because just the smell of it made me sick then. And, there is food that I didn’t like at all until I was pregnant that I can’t get enough of. Like pumpkin…yum.
98) Every summer, I make intricate plans to home school my kids for those two months. I make charts in my head, promise to keep a strict routine every day, commit to turning off the TV and the computer, and working with them constantly. It lasts a week before I fail miserably at it, and relax into summer.
99) I love the smell of Jovan musk, and Obsession by Calvin Klein. I think I like Jovan Musk because my mother hated it so much, and I know I like Obsession because a boss I had a big crush on told me that I was a huge distraction to him every time he walked by me because I smelled so good.
100) I am the opposite of a procrastinator. If something has to be done, I can’t rest until it is done. It drives me crazy to put it off, or worse yet, get halfway through it and leave it hanging.


Nicole said...

OMG Bets, we have SOOOO much in common. It's kind of scarey. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'm going to some day sit across from you sipping wine, and going over this list sharing all that we share! :) Love you! Nicole

Kelley said...

I see quite a few similarities here as well! Maybe I was MEANT to read your blog! BTW, my bday is Feb. 16th :-)