March 22nd marked the 11th anniversary of your death. Its hard to believe that we said goodbye to you 11 years ago.
I miss you terribly, and long for the sound of your voice. I still have that same dream I've had since you died - the one where you are sitting in the corner chair of my dining room, while I am entertaining guests. Only I can see and hear you and you are telling funny stories and commenting about the people around the table and the things they are talking about, making me laugh right along with you.
Its a strange dream, and its funny that it keeps happening, almost identical every time I have it. I've begun to look forward to the dream, and am always happy when I wake up to remember it. I can see your crystal blue eyes so clearly in the dream, and can hear your voice as if you are sitting next to me.
Its a strange combination of emotions - this missing you so badly, literally aching for my dad to be alive again, and then feeling so happy and so blessed to have had such a great father who left us too young, but with amazing memories of an incredible man.
I imagine for anyone who truly loves their children, there is no greater honor than to die knowing your children adored you, to know you were a good parent, and that you made a huge difference in the lives of the people you created.
Please know that you excelled in all of these areas, Dad. I have adored you forever, and will continue to adore you forevermore. You guided me and shaped me into the person I am, and I am forever thankful to you for that.
As much as I miss you, it was your soul that made you an amazing father, not your physical body. And I feel just as close to your soul as I ever did. That makes the missing you part just a little bit easier.
I'm hoping you've saved a seat for me in Heaven, because the minute I get there, I'm going to be jumping from cloud to cloud, looking for the man with the gentle voice, the white hair, and the amazing eyes - and I'm going to sit right down beside him, and tell him that I love him.
And then, Dad, you are never going to leave my sight again.
Love you with all my heart,
Betsy
7 comments:
Absolutely beautiful!
I think I'll go call my dad right now....
I totally get this one. I lost my dad almost two years ago. It's just so dang hard.
Oh Betsy, that was one of the most beautiful testements to fatherhood/parenting I have ever read. I can see your Dad clearly through your love and words.
Hugs my dear friend.......and someday, I will seek out you and your Dad and sit and listent to his stories and laugh with you.
Betsy, I am touched!!! Today (the 27th) is exactly 6 months that my father passed away. And I happen to read this post of yours. Thank you, I guess you and I are really connected in more than one way... Your special attentions for me when he died and now this beautiful hymn to your dad... You are good for my soul
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