So, now that American Thanksgiving has passed, I suppose we can officially begin to celebrate the Christmas season.
Sunday night, we bundled Paige up in her coat and blankets, put her flat out in her wheelchair, and went to our town's annual Christmas parade. She was so happy to get out of the house and see some noise and excitement. It did her so much good to get some fresh air - she was in such a great mood when we got back home.
We're still sort of halfway through putting Christmas lights outside - no matter how early we start, Christmas seems to jump up on us.
Almost always, I get a good old fashioned case of the blues just before Christmas...I've had a lot of "stuff" happen over the years in the weeks before Christmas - two miscarriages, my dad being diagnosed with terminal cancer, Paige's prenatal diagnosis, etc...
So, I think I somehow got myself stuck in a bit of a rut. When something bad didn't happen, I felt apprehensive and nervous that it was just around the corner. I always felt sort of a desperation to make every Christmas the best ever - and I always felt a bit out of control about it as well - that no matter how well I planned, how many lists I made, how many gifts I bought, how much cooking I did, how many promises I made to God, that as soon as I let my guard down, I was going to get it and get it good.
I'm not sure what is so different about this year - but so far I've escaped that feeling of dread. Perhaps its because Paige has had what we are hoping will be her final surgery for a very long time, and we can actually see the end of the tunnel to the Escape of The Body Cast. Perhaps its that even though I miss my dad like I do every year, I feel him very much with me this year...in a very happy way.
Or maybe its a combination of little things that are making this a good season. My children are healthy, my dog is so dang cute, we are doing well as a family, I have good friends, one of whom actually works with me in the office I where I work. I really like my job, and I have a funny, crazy boss, who never stops entertaining us.
Whatever it is, on this December 1st, as we head toward Christmas, I'll take it, and I'll remember to be very thankful for it...
Please pardon any funky colours on my blog - I am waiting on a new monitor - this one is dark and not very precise - I'll fix everything up nice in a few days!